UEFA have handed Arsenal Women a 2-year suspension from its premier European Competition and £50 fine, after the side breached Article 15 of the UEFA disciplinary handbook, citing the team and the manager for improper conduct. A recent amendment now states that sides who accrue over 5 yellow cards at the group stage will not be able to partake in European Football.
‘Rules are rules’ explained Nadine Kessler. ‘Article 15 clause 7 clearly states that any sides who get 5+ bookings, or 2+ sendings off, in a single match are no longer allowed to play in this competition. I know this for certain because I added the clause myself 5 minutes ago. We want to instil a sense of discipline and respect in European football, and Arsenal have not been hitting the high standards we want all the clubs to aspire too. Against Barcelona, there were so many cards being given out, I thought it was someone’s birthday. It just isn’t right.’
‘And don’t get me started on Jonas. We’ve had local residents at Borehamwood writing to us, complaining about being kept awake by his loud, passionate antics on the touchline. To disrespect the ref is one thing, but disrespecting the neighbours as well? It crosses a line as far as I’m concerned.’
‘With great passion, comes great responsibility’ she added. ‘Or irresponsibility, in Arsenal’s case.’
Arsenal admit to having been caught off guard by the recent developments.
‘It’s not ideal,’ admitted Jonas Eidevall. ‘We all knew the new competition would have a few rough edges in its first season, but this is taking things too far, as far as I’m concerned. A pre-tournament tournament to qualify was one thing, but being disqualified because the ref was a little card-happy one night seems a tad harsh. On the bright side, at least we won’t have to worry about fixture congestions or getting annihilated by Barcelona from now on. We’ll leave that to the other big teams left in the competition, and Chelsea.’
‘Absolutely not!’ he responded firmly, when asked if there was a chance he could tone down his passion ever so slightly.
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